I had something there
Tina Ganja
I grew up in a family with a sister and a brother. My
parents are Sikh and brought up in India. They later moved to England and had
their views and expectations that reflected the Asian roots on culture. I found
this restricting, pressurised and confusing. After all I was living in
I had a good education at school - GCSEs. GNVQ, A level. I went to uni for 3 months because I though it was the 'right thing to do'. I left due to disliking the course and issues with living arrangements. I felt a failure, did not know how to move forward. I took time out and carried out voluntary work for Rethink. It involved befriending and counselling people with mental health problems. I gained skills and confidence in working with people, mental health issues. I felt less of a failure.
I saw the advert for the Diversity Post with training included. Plucked up courage to apply. I was refused first time, re-applied and was successful. I was in shock, overwhelmed, scared, excited. I fell as if it was fate. I was glad that I hadn't carried on with the other course. I developed a desire to learn as much as I could to make the best of this opportunity even though I didn't know how I was going to do this.
My parents were pleased about the job and degree in particular, but more unsure of what it was I was doing - think they are unsure to this day (as well as other people).
My first session involved working with young people, some of whom were refugees. There was a huge language barrier and I remember feeling like I wanted to run out of the room and admit defeat - I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand in front and speak and, anyway, what did I have to offer them? Then a young person approached me and said "that was really fun, Tina, you really made me realise how to have fun today I will definitely come back next week". I was shocked but pleased. I realised I had the ability to encourage change and development in others.
My job also involved working with other ethnic minorities. This was a struggle and challenged my issues/grievances when working with the Asian community. I had to build trust with Asian parents who viewed me as a rebellious westerner and a confused teenager who had forgotten her roots. I was able to work with their daughters. My turning point came when the realisation came in that people of my parents' generation had been brought up in a different environment and I had to respect their difference in views, just as I would expect them to respect mine. After realising this some of the anger and resentment disappeared as I had gained a greater understanding. I decided to be me and let them be them.
I started to lead on other projects, which involved working
with the elderly, children, those with disabilities, creating a mural, summer schemes and
youth exchanges to
I always struggled with my lack of self esteem and doubted my abilities in achieving, despite having evidence in front of me. In a supervision session with my YMCA supervisor I broke down in tears and acknowledged what a struggle everything had been. Although there had been positive aspects, it had been a difficult journey to accept I was a professional and had abilities. I had been so hard on myself and expected too much at once. The turning point came when I accepted - 'who I was, was enough'. My confidence improved greatly.
I attended Rank conferences and gave a presentation. Delivered a staff training session to colleagues. All of a sudden I was sharing my knowledge and raising awareness about my work with others. Gained brilliant feedback from staff, colleagues, and have made presentations since. Less fearful of them as it was a huge phobia.
I have completed my BA and am continuing to do my BA Hons. I accept I am a professional who has lots of potential and skills to offer. I believe that all things are possible and possibilities are endless.
