I'm gonna be me for me

S J McIntosh

Before Rank or Step I was quiet or shy, not very academic, got average grades. I was bullied, overweight and had a strong Christian Faith that people took the 'mick' out of me for. There were family struggles and violence between my dad and older brothers.

I dropped out of Sixth Form having failed my A/S levels, tried to get a job, but couldn't, even as a sailing instructor because it was winter. I learnt to sail when I was eight, by 16 was a RYA (Recognised Dinghy Instructor) teaching adults and young people the basics of how to sail. I decided to work at Fellowship Afloat Charitable Trust (FACT) in Tollesbury, Essex for a year as an outdoor pursuits instructor. Teaching rock climbing, archery, sailing and power boating.

I spent most of the year when I was instructing as a youth worker. If there was an option of doing cleaning or working with the groups onboard the lightship, then I would get the working with the groups. This was because of my ability to engage with young people, by playing icebreaker games and my bubbly and enthusiastic personality. I got told that year I had a natural talent for working with people. I should consider youth work.

In December 2005, through the supervision that was a mandatory part of the Foundation Studies, I realised I had to deal with things from my past, and issues I had in my life e.g. bullying, seeing family arguments becoming violent, etc. I was at a very emotional point in my life, and I had a breakdown. I was advised by my supervisor at the time to have counselling. This has inevitably helped me to understand the journey that young people can take.

My counsellor helped me to deal with a lot of things in my life. This has helped me to become a lot more confident in who I am, and embrace the person I am becoming. After my last session of counselling I was on the bus home and did some detached work. This for me was a real point when I realized youth work is a lifestyle and a natural thing that we do everyday in our lives.

I was on a bus one day going home, earlier this month when a group of youths got on, straight to the back of the upper deck. They decided to start throwing stones out the window at people, at the time I was sitting at the front of the bus upstairs, I decided that I would go and challenge them. Ask why they were throwing stones out of the window. I find so often that our society is quick to tell off and condemn people before asking why, and allowing them to think about the answer. There was one man on the bus who sat there at the front of the bus just shouting out every so often "Behave yourselves". Having worked with young people, I knew that young people don't like to be told what to do but to be given the choice. So I went and sat with them and introduced myself and told them I was a youth worker, and I just sat and watched and learned what they did and decided to try to talk to them and ask them why they were throwing stones out of the window at people? And whether it was something particularly exciting to do? Later on I found out the young people were from Bermondsey and felt bored, so I told them about the Salmon Centre and how it is a place where young people can go that's cheap and has lots to offer in different areas, including a graffiti workshop that we will run this week. (Taken from my final assessment for my Foundation Studies at YMCA George Williams College)

Now I am working full time for The Cambridge House Young Peoples Project being funded for my degree in Informal Education in the Community by The Rank Foundation. Once I have completed my degree, I want to specialise in working with deaf young people.