He really valued me

Kieran McIntosh

When I was 13 years old I had a lot of anger problems. I would often come home and verbally abuse my family, shouting and screaming. My parents had tried a lot of things to try and help me but nothing seemed to work.

My parents asked a young youth worker to come and spend some time with me. We started to hang out, and spend time together. He was always pleased to see me. I had a real respect for him. He inspired me because he had vision and purpose, he was committed and genuinely cared about people. He was a passionate Christian but he was also 'normal'. I would often spend time with him as he lived his life, I watched and asked questions. I began to change, I decided I wanted to be like him and so I made positive choices. He opened up the door of possibilities and I found I could have a future and did not have to live an eventless life: I had something to live for.

The man who mentored me began to give me responsibilities, he encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and leave the nest; sometimes with encouraging words, filling me with confidence; other times with a kick up the backside.

I spent a year volunteering at my church and began to work with other young people and elderly people. This was a good experience, especially the part of having no money for the whole year! I realised that I could have a positive influence on others and I actually enjoyed working with other people. My mentor cared about me and allowed me to grow under his encouragement and this really encouraged me to value others and the impact caring, sharing and giving of my time can have on others.

I started to work voluntarily at the Salmon Youth Centre, helping out in the youth clubs and I really enjoyed the youth work and valued and respected the other youth workers.

When the idea about Gap was suggested, I initially said 'no', I was just getting comfortable in my role and I had just been offered a job in youth work and I didn't think I needed qualifications. Again, I was given a kick up the bum! I was told 'what am I doing? This Gap scheme was the best opportunity if I intended to head in the direction of youth work.' So I went on the gap scheme.

The Gap scheme was a genuine turning point for me. I went from being a lazy person who had a dream of being a role model into someone who was now able to inspire others to be role models and work hard at their dreams.

When my Time and Talents post came up later, after finishing my gap scheme, I was ready to step up a gear in my work and ambitions. This time, when I was told there was a chance of going forward in my work and studies with support and funding, I had no intention of taking no for an answer. My 'don't care,' lazy attitude was in the past and my passion for my work was now what propelled me forward. The Youth or Adult? programme was positioned at the right place to accompany my journey of growth. My experiences so far have taught me to value who I am. I have learnt to learn from others like my mentor as well as to think through and stand on my own. I am still learning and I now believe it is really important to appreciate the things that make me, me. I don't really want to be a replica. My biggest turning point, kicks up the bum and all, has been about working out who I am.