I would have died

Eddy Conroy

I grew up in a caring middle class family that loved and supported me - not really an upbringing that one would expect to present great challenges - but as a young teenager I started rebelling and became involved with petty criminality, soft drugs and I was going nowhere good. I didn't know why then, but looking back I can see I was just very, very angry and even now I'm not sure why.

The first major change in my life was when I became a Christian and the change that my faith created within me - leading on from the man who had been with me when I became a Christian - helped me to grow and develop, he put faith in me. He asked me to speak in Church and was there to show me that I was able to do things that at first seemed really scary.

I had been home-educated until I was 16 and only went to school to do my Highers. There was an attitude in the school that I wouldn't be able to achieve a lot because I had been home schooled I felt that I had something to prove.

Halfway through the year I was taken into hospital for emergency, life-saving surgery on a perforated ulcer. This gave me a lot of time to think as I was out of school for two and a half months. I realise that I wasn't invincible and if I wanted to do something I needed to go for it and not worry about things so much. At the end of the year I got some of the best exam results in my school, which was incredibly satisfying after all the time off I had had.

I applied to a lot of top Universities but got quite a shock when I was only given one unconditional offer, which was at Glasgow University. This left me without much real purpose for my last year of school and eventually left me feeling rather disillusioned.

For the first few months I did bits and pieces with no real focus. I had always wanted to do a Gap year, but when it came to applying I became scared of not doing what everyone I knew was doing and changed my mind, planning to just go straight to University.

However, I eventually realised that I did want to take a year before University to find out what I really wanted to do. Thankfully there was still a place available with Outward Bound metro on the Gap scheme.

This year has been wonderful and I have had amazing chances to develop myself and other young people. This year has given me the space and time that I needed to decide where I want to take my life next. In a funny way I have gone full circle. Even though I love working in the outdoors and working with young people, I have realised that this is not where I want to go as a career. I have realised that I want to go and study law, which I had planned to do after school. This year has given me the certainty that I do want to do that and that has been the biggest turning point in some ways.