Pick yourself up

Becky Dunning

I came from a happy family where I had a good relationship with my parents who have always encouraged me not to conform. I think this was partly responsible for me feeling at the end of school that there was something more than just being part of the system and going to Uni - it just didn't feel right.

And so the opportunity of gap with The John Muir Award came about, which I seized as my chance to do something different from most others at my school. During my gap the realisation of where I wanted to go with my future dawned on me - I wanted to work with young people and the environment, I had identified a passion for helping young people to engage and re-connect with the environment. This passion was on a personal level through my own love of being outdoors, but it shone through and shaped the way for my future journey.

Having finished gap I took up my deferred place at university which I found a huge change from essentially a full time job with gap to full time study. But at the same time as this change I found myself drawing on the skills and experiences of my gap to mentor and support those students I live with through that transition to a young adult, helping them survive and experience their first year at uni.

In my second year at uni life came unstuck, the course wasn't great, I was struggling with full time study and several things happened within my personal life - I lost my direction and was unsure and confused where I was going to next. The resilience that my passion had sparked enabled me to pick myself up and start rebuilding things with a clear focus. The vision of re-connecting young people with the environment was what makes me tick. Looking back now, it was a conscious decision to make a change to move on and follow something that was true to myself. I left uni and went to work as a youth worker where my confidence was crushed once again by someone who made me feel they didn't believe in my ability and made me question my own belief in my abilities. Even though it was a hard time to get through, the resilience I encountered before helped me realise I had to leave this place that was killing my love for working with young people.

Now I have come, in a sense, full circle and I am working for the John Muir Award again in the same place as my gap, only this time I'm the Regional Manager supporting and managing my own Gappers. My experience as a Gapper and my journey so far is helping them on theirs.